March 12, 2003 - 5:10 p.m.
So, after two days, I am finally allowed to update.
Kate came over yesturday to drop off Girl Scout Cookies. Thin Mints, Samoas, and Tagalongs abound. But probably more refreshing than seeing the boxes of cookies was seeing my fellow HpC member again. I can't watch Cowboy Bebop without thinking about them anymore. And it's not even the end. It's Hard Luck Woman, when the song "Call Me, Call Me" is played. That's when the tears start falling and my throat feels like its got a golf ball lodged in it. And I can't listen to "Teenage Dirtbag" or "Here's to the Night." And theat's when I realize that I miss them. Even if it was all a pretense, they meant a lot to me. I love them, and they make my past worthwhile to me. And even though I hated myself back then, I wouldn't hesitate to go back in time to see them again.
They were my protectors back then, but now I can protect myself. So they stay at my side, always in my mind, like guardian angels. I quote them often and imitate their personalities. Everyone thinks it's so cool, that I'm so different. No, it's just the reflection of HpC bouncing of me like a mirror.
I am so lucky to have them as friends.
But I guess I'm happy where I am now. I've got more courage, now, as well as more self confidence. Which is why I turned in my Presidential nomination form today, complete with my mother's signature that I forged. Consider it my first lie under oath.
And I got all my teachers to sign it too, with a very positive response that I was runnig. I felt a little evil when my Literature teacher signed my sheet. She favors me and said, "You're running for President? I'm so glad. I was hoping you would." I pull off such a Miyazawa act, it's amazing.
I also got my body fat measured in Health. I had been putting it off for so long, thinking only of the worst. I admit it, I'm incredibly vain. What if I was fat? All this week, I had tried to eat sensibly. I think all of this stress caused my recent breakout of pimples, which, of course, isn't noticable to anyone but myself. So I get the fat taken. I'm in the lower part of the acceptable scale. I'm perfectly healthy, and very close to being in the "optimal" range.
Plus, everyone complimented me on my hair today, saying that I looked so cute with my pigtails twisted in such a way to make my hair look shorter and a bit wavy. According to Catherine, I look like a faerie child. Which is much better than being told by Lissa's sister that I look like an elf because of my "big nose". Not big, honey, just characterizing.
