April 12, 2003 - 10:00 a.m.
Sometimes things happen, all in one week, that aren't fair or even logical.
A girl I know at dance was diagnosed with cancer. I haven't been the best of friends with Brooke, but we've known each other since we were eight. So whether we like it or not, we have a history. And we were begining to talk to each other again.
I always thought she was a huge bitch. It was probably all me though, I was the bitch, and she just followed my lead. Even though I tried to say it went the other way.
And the weirdest thing? I had a dream that something bad was going to happen at dance that day. I can't remember what it was about, but I do remember waking up in tears.
After I heard the news, I told my mom, who said,"So you've the sixth sense too?"
And then we cried. Brooke is too young to die. It's not fair. If there is a God up there, I was hating him that day. She was given those legs to be an ace dancer and a basketball star. She was so athletic and was good at everything. It's not fair.
I went to work yesturday, ahich could be seen as either a good or bad thing. I only got ten dollars in tips (cheap bastards, I'm never going to get my Esca boxset), and my mom told Mike that I took off work to see the Cowboy Bebop movie, so he was teasing me about liking "japanimation." Thank you, Mom.
Scott is still uber confusing. Some of the stuff he says is just so flirty, but everyone flirts, so it's no big deal, right? So just because he tells me that onion straws are sexy and that he thinks it's hot when I scoop ice like that, it's no big deal.
And then Justin brings in his concoction of God knows what liquor. Dustin takes a gulp, Scott takes a gulp, I take a few sips. Repeat. Repeat. And already I can feel a little tired. Is this what it's like to be drunk? No, I can still read and think and walk in a straight line. Slight buzz is more like it. Kate was right. Never drink on an empty stomach.
Apparently, Scott had too much too. We are both such goodie two shoes, you can tell were emboldened by it.
I mean, I didn't drink that much, maybe a shot total. But since I hadn't eaten since lunch and was sick, it wasn't exactly the best thing to do.
So me and Scott go to vaccuum. I move the tables, he vaccuums. I don't wan to move the tables. He says he doesn't want to do anything. I say that he wants to do the whole job and he disagrees. He says he'll give me a spoon to do it all. Mind flashes to Kate. Maybe I should steal her a fork. But I disagree. Aww, come on, just look at how nice the spoon is. I look, he hands it to me, and he tells me that since I took the spoon, I have to do the job by myself.
I jump on top of him, pulling him by the collar of his shirt and eventually falling on top of him.
"I'll move, you vacuum."
"Fine"
I moved the tables by walking straight into them until they scooted to the side, and then Scott vacuumed, pulling me by the hand to move the tables back.
"Do you like Dustin?"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Do you like him?"
"He's a good kid."
"No, not like that"
"Oh yeah, I want to fuck him," I reply sarcastically.
"I bet you do."
"Yeah, right."
And so he tells Justin that I want to fuck Dustin, and Justin, loiquor in hand, says, "I don't beleive that for a second. Maybe if you said that he wanted to screw her, but not the other way around."
I ruffle with pride.
"She goes to an all girls school, she's a lesbian, remember?"
"Damn you!"
And then I get online and talk to Gabby, who says that she's thinking of shadowing up at my school. And I'm so happy that I just want to go and hug her. I'd love it if she went to my school, even if it was just for a day. They'd love her, I'd make sure of it!
