July 05, 2003 - 2:18 p.m.
I'm in such a bad mood I don't even want to continue my last entry.
My hair looks like shit; I don't know how to use a straightener or a blowdryer. So it just sort of hangs while I wish I had my hair back. My face is breaking out, and I gained 5 pounds while I was here. I could count off the parts of myself that I hate, which is everything.
I feel like I need to stop eating all together. I feel so completely unpretty and antisocial that I'd rather sit here and cry than see my family. I hate my family. I want to put my fingers down my throat and puke so I can be alone. I pray for sickness. I pray to come back some soon. I pray to disapear.
I'd sell my soul to be someone else right now. Someone better than imperfect me.
I wish I was dead.
