July 15, 2003 - 7:17 p.m.
You know the best part of "Yellow Submarine"? It's that one part with all the things dropping and squeaking. And the weird noises. And the "Sky of Blue and Sea of Green" echoes. And the little laugh after "In our yellow submarine...haha!"
The above really doesn't make sense unless you read it while the song is playing. Sorry.
I actually talked to my dad today, which is weird. We dn't usually talk much but when we do, it usually varies to two extremes. Either I realize that I hate the man, or I realize that he's one of the best people in my life, and I love him even more for it. Although I would never say that.
Today was the latter, thank the Lord. We talked about our ancestry, about our family. I have so much pride in my family. We have such a rich history and heritage that I didn't really know about. We came here in rags, but all five of my father's siblings and himself have pushed through college to become very successful individuals. And I'm really proud of that.
Anyways, my father has been trying to trace back our ancestry. He's found all sorts of famous people, scientists and soap opera stars, all with my last name. It makes me wonder who I could be related to if I traced far back enough.
We about my grandfather, about how quiet he was. He never said anything good or bad about my father or my aunts and uncles. It sort of made me realize why my dad can be so loud. Maybe he wants to make sure that we know where we stand with him.
Which is sort of weird, considering I haven't said I love you to my dad for quite a few years now. Not so much as a hug. He probably hasn't given me a kiss on the cheek since 5th grade, he probably hasn't tucked me in for bed since 4th.
He's stopped carrying me and holding my hand, which is all fine and well, since I'm no a kid anymore. Saying, "I love you" seems sort of strange and awkward, even. But it sort of scares me.
What if something happened and he didn't know?
I push those thoughts aside.
Actions speak louder, I hope.
