July 23, 2003 - 11:58 a.m.
I woke up at nine. This was already a bad start. I dont wake up at nine. Ever. Plus my back hurt. It stills does, actually.
So I get online, and some dimwits annoy me with their pitiful attempts at conversation.
So I get offline, and debate whether I want to eat Cocoa Pebbles or Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Even though Pebbles would beat out crunch on any normal day, today I'm in the mood for neither. I begin to raid the refrigerator and, Eureka!
There it is. The answer I was looking for. I am going to have grilled cheese for breakfast.
Now some of you might say, "Grilled cheese? For breakfast?"
Yes. Grilled cheese is one of those foods that taste good every meal of the day. Like ramen or eggs. It's the American bell peppers and beef.
But some people do not understand the pleasure of a fine grilled cheese sandwhich. How can that be? I have deduced it is the result of not knowing how to make a grilled cheese properly.
So I figured I'd do my karma some good and give you directions so easy that even Bush could follow. Hell, it's even in ten easy steps.
1. Heat the pan on medium heat.
2. Lightly butter your choice of bread. Margarine works too.
3. Retrieve two slices of cheese, one yellow-orange in color, one white. I find that American and Provolone work well. Goat cheese probably doesn't.
4. Slap a piece of bread on the pan, butter side down.
5. Then slap on your two pieces of cheese.
6. Then slap on your last piece of bread, buttered side up.
7. When the bottom side is toasted, flip. Repeat with other side once more.
8. Put the grilled cheese on a plate.
9. Cut you grilled cheese in half diagonally. Then take one half of it and cut that piece in half.
10. Enjoy!
Grilled cheese is the center of the universe. I pray to grilled cheese now, it's so good. My favorite sound? The Clash and the sound of me eating a grilled cheese. My favorite sight? Anime and grilled cheese. My favorite feeling? Something X-rated and eating grilled cheese.
Yeah grilled cheese.
Disclaimer: For entertainment only. I am not reponsible if you burn yourself trying to make grilled cheese.
